This really should have been the first post.
I had several false starts and been thinking about doing this for years. Why? Well, this topic of encouraging people with STDs (HIV, Herpes, anything really) to go live fulfilling lives and find a mate on the way is well … still taboo in much of the world. My experience in this area ironically comes from my own and observing a very important woman in my life – my mother. My mother was married very young and her husband infected her. This story is not unique – it happens all the time. What doesn’t happen is people coming out to share kind words and encourage others to:
- Date
- Enjoy sex again
- Have open and frank discussions about sexual health with potential partners regardless of status
I find the stories of “Here is my story of how I got infected” to be extremely boring and stuck in the 1990′s. It’s time to move beyond that.
The benefits of having a young mother is that you can related to each other. When I was 18 she was in her early late 30′s and in great shape – so naturally she decided to get back into the dating scene. We watched each other as we made mistakes. Watching her heart-break after telling someone her status was the worst. I had the front seat of watching an HIV+ woman live life, try to find love, and all that is in between.
So I realize that I’m falling down a well of taboo subjects. Encouraging people who have STDs to date (who will inevitably have sex!) is taboo. All humans have these urges and just because you’re poz doesn’t mean that these feelings will go away. They don’t.
I’m well aware that I’m going to receive hate mail. I know that the stigma of having an std hasn’t gone away. I don’t care. These things need to be said.
Photo credit: Kiwi NZ – because who doesn’t love puppies?
